Throw me the idol, no time to argue.

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 00:50:23 GMT

IMPORTANT DATES

June 21 - Midsummer. This is the sun's moment of greatest glory,
and the time of longest daylight. After today, the sun's decline
begins. Decorate your house with sunwheels. Build a bonfire, or if
that's not possible, burn a candle in honor of Sunna, the Sun.

July 9 - Day of Remembrance for Unn the Deep Minded. Unn was a
strong-willed matriarch who established dynasties in the Orkneys,
Faroes, and Iceland. Do something to make your own family line
stronger and more permanent. Recall the deep-minded women of your
clan today.

August 9 - Day of Remembrance for King Radbod. This Frisian king
ejected Christian missionaries and upheld our ancestral faith in his
land, against great pressure. Pour a libation to the ancient Frisian
Goddess Friagabi, "Giver of Freedom" and declare yourself free from
alien creeds.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 02:25:55 GMT

I wish my middle name was "Breakfast". That way when someone asks if I want something to eat in the morning I can say "Breakfast is my middle name!" and maybe they'll laugh, and give a little wink, and they'll think it's a joke. But it's fact, and the joke is on you.

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:43:21 GMT

So here's a funny story. No, really. I think it's pretty funny, anyway. OH FINE IF YOU DON'T THINK IT'S FUNNY THEN FUCK OFF

Well apparently my dad's like a mason and he's part of the 30th DEGREE or some shit which is APPARENTLY a third of a degree from the ABSOLUTE SUPREME TOP mason or something. I don't really know. He was trying to convince me to join the masons. He was pretty drunk though, so maybe it was just like drunk talk. But I love the idea of secret societies, don't you? Postscript: I am drunk and stoned right now. LIKE FATHER LIKE SON except my dad was a cop so instead of buying and smoking weed (corby) he just stood by as they burned siezed crops

My dad was watching me play Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. He explained to me how "scum like that D.J. Mc B.J. Feller" (no, I don't know who he meant either) deserve to be chased around by police helicopters by O'Blarney when I was in the force we wouldn't have let blokes like that shoot down fellow officers in helicopters where'd he get that rocket launcher anyway" then he started convulsing on the floor like always and rambling about "Jewsus" which is his racist way of saying "jesus" I guess and so I hit him under the chin with a plank of wood like I always have to in situations like this. Then I took his credit card and subscribed to all these pornography sites

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 11:54:26 GMT

I'm going to start a new genre called Blackface Metal. It's going to be a real hit (i.e. people will hit me for being such a cunt). Stay tuned!

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 15:08:20 GMT

So I got out this dvd called The Eye and sometimes when I see a movie I like to read what other people have said about it on imdb.com. Then I saw that they're doing a remake of it because that seems to be the trend at the moment. What's the fucking point? I didn't see it as anything special (though a few scenes I thought were pretty cool, like the old woman in the hallway near the start and the guy in the elevator OH NO I DID SPOIL THE MOVIE), and it reminded me too much of the Sixth Sense (I don't mean to say it's exactly the same, though, just very similar in some parts). I was pretty neutral towards that movie as well, I can't stand that "alarmingly mature child" cliche that seems to be in every movie these days when they can't think of anything that is actually original because people eat that shit up, plus it doesn't really require any acting ability.

I also got out that Lemony Snicket movie. Before you say anything, I haven't even heard of this movie before. Remember how isolated I am? It's like a fucking black hole, except things don't get sucked in. So I guess it's like a void, not a black hole. Well, anyway, I just saw it on the shelf and thought it looked pretty good. I was right, the whole movie LOOKS good... I love the style and the costumes and such (by which I mean the movie had a definite mood that was consistent right through) but something tells me I'm not really the target audience. I mildly enjoyed it because I didn't get bored looking at anything, but that's about as much praise as I'd give it. I mean, it made me think of a modern day Victorian era/steampunk sort of world, and I'd love to see more adult orientated movies with similar visuals and mood (I'm not talking about that shitty League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, either). It also sort of has that "kids understand more than you think they do" moral to it which just makes me roll my eyes wildly until I give myself a headache. During "Signs" I actually gave my eyes friction burn from all the eyerolling. It was a good thing, though, I didn't have to watch the fucking stupid movie anymore. I hate every M. Night Shyamalan movie that I have seen so far. I bet he writes his scripts like thiSCREECH ha ha scared you didn't I you didn't think I was going to make the orchestral music swell at that particular momSCREECH ha ha I did it agaSCREECH oh the sudden violin scares are too frequent oh. Oh

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 15:16:45 GMT

So it seems Finntroll has a music video now. It's in the Media -> Videos section and it's called "Trollhammaren". Though I haven't seen it yet, I already know that it's going to be the greatest music video in the world so everyone should download it even if you don't like them but ESPECIALLY if you do I am looking at you one or two or possibly three people in ~~the world~~ my livejournalfriendslist

Here is a picture of Finntroll to amuse/entice the nonlisteners

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:12:14 GMT

In the Queen Street Mall in Brisbane the Deputy Mayor started putting up No Smoking signs, even though they can't legally enforce it. At first the REAL Mayor was opposed and took them down (because the Deputy Mayor didn't follow the right procedure and enforced his morals on the people without right or reason (no those were not his words)) but then he changed his mind and decided to "compromise" by letting the signs stay up, but they had to be "carefully" worded. This is not compromisation, this is bending over and letting them have their way with you. Because it cannot be legally enforced, the signs now say "please do not smoke in this area". I have expressed outrage at this act (yes, I'm a smoker, but it's the principle that gets me) and most people are ambivalent and just say "so? I don't smoke". I'm not going to act like a moron and say "FIRST THEY CAME FOR OUR CIGARETTES AND I DID NOT SPEAK blah blah" but I think that's more of the angle people need to take.

They CANNOT enforce this law, but apathetic fucks let shit like this happen, and guess what? It never stops there. They know that this is going to turn the non smokers against the smokers if anyone tries to smoke there, because people are just going to assume it's the law, even though it's been on the news just recently. The fact that someone sent a "biological agent" to the Indonesian Embassy in Australia is evidence that the general population are unthinking hypocrites with short memories. "Why should I worry about the rights of others when my rights are not being stepped on?" seems to be the motto of just about everyone alive today.

So yeah, it can't be legally enforced. But you can bet that "concerned mothers" and "people who can't accept or understand that some people like doing things that you don't" will raise the bar on anti-smoking aggressiveness. And before anyone says "IF YOU SMOKE AROUND ME I WILL DIE BY INHALING YOUR DEADLY LUNG VAPOURS" (the "education" people have had on second hand smoke is wildly overblown and reactionary) I would like to point out that it's an outdoor area that they're doing this in, you can't just smoke in the mall anyway (and I agree with this). This area is the last place you can smoke (I haven't been there for a long time but I doubt that that would have changed), it's an open area, and it's not cramped. Stop treading on the rights of others just because they don't apply to you. Because your rights will be next.

Hmm... maybe I should actually try and do something about this instead of complaining in an online journal.

-------------------------

Here is that story. I'm only going to quote one thing:

""Encouraging an environment where fewer people can light up ultimately helps smokers to quit and sends a message to young people not to take up the habit," Cr Hinchliffe said."

Oh, you're such a fucking humanitarian. When the government stops making ANY money on the sale of cigarettes I'll start taking your stupid whining seriously. Only I won't, since if the majority of people were smokers you'd be trying to make MORE PLACES TO SMOKE since you're only interested in siding with the majority because that means more votes. Anyway, it doesn't make sense. Forcing your morals on someone doesn't make them more likely to agree with you, it harbours resentment.

People aren't interested in the truth. Actually, what's truth to me isn't truth to you, so that's not an accurate word. An accurate word would be "fact", and people have confused the two for so long that now people think they mean the same thing. So, people aren't interested in the facts, they're interested in seeing and hearing (I was going to put "reading" but I'm not even sure if most people CAN read anymore) things that reinforce their biases (positive or negative). Thats why no one complains about the anti-drug ads that have been coming out lately. The only substance that is considered a drug that I have ever consumed (no, I don't mean eaten) or have considered consuming is marijuana. But when I see these people specifically designing advertisements to get the biggest emotional effect I get sick to my stomach because people fall for it every time. How about the facts? Instead of ending a 30 second commercial with "[drug name here]. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S GOING TO DO TO YOU." (exact quote) how about educating your kids yourself? Telling them the facts and letting them make up their own mind? Oh, right. Because it's too risky. They might not make the same choices as you. Also they might realise that some of the things you've been saying about some drugs are a huge fucking lie that's been perpetrated for almost 100 years, only you believe it's "truth" because that was what's been told to you.

For the record, I only feel strongly about marijuana legalisation (while we're on the subject, if marijuana is illegal, I would expect cigarettes and alcohol should be too, but since they're not, I wonder why more people don't question this (answer: status quo)). I don't believe all drugs should be legal, but I also DON'T believe that misinformation and prohibition are the answer. Too bad most people do, because that's the easiest (and least "risky") way to go.

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 00:14:50 GMT

Mindless Self Indulgence have really changed their style.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 15:37:19 GMT

Nice one, general Australian public. Really fucking intelligent. Hi this is a good idea. Hi I do believe everything I see on television. Hi the news did make me RACIST (within socially acceptable limits) AND REACTIONARY AND WHAT'S THAT ABOUT A BANDWAGON*

And so I don't come across as un-Australian, I'm going to tell everyone what I am doing to help our poor innocent Schapelle... uh... I'm going to refer to marijuana as "corby" from now on. As in "HEY MAN GET SOME OF THAT SWEET, SWEET CORBY"

* That website doesn't look all that functional but mainly a whole lot of people think it's a good idea to stop all trade and travel with Indonesia because their television told them a pretty white girl is being treated poorly by those inferior Asian monkeys (don't they like bow to allah or something???? so WEIRD!!!) so most of the Australian population has a sad face while drinking beer now

Sun, 29 May 2005 15:45:26 GMT

Back in Hervey Bay, I remember there was this couple (a man and a woman) who, as far as anyone knew, were homeless. They rode around, all day, every day, on bicycles (well I suppose they walked sometimes. I didn't watch them 24/7, though I would have liked to, once), and they were frequently seen rummaging around in garbage bins looking for aluminium cans to trade in. The guy used to be a respected doctor or psychologist, before he had to be committed to a mental institution for whatever reason and that's when he met the woman he was with. I suppose you could say that that story was made up, but my mother was a nurse and that's what he told her.

One day the guy was looking for cans (or whatever) in a big dumpster when some guys that I went to school with saw him and said "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR BUDDY" or something like that. He was so shocked he let go of the lid and it fell down onto his head. Being arsehole highschool pseudobullies, they laughed and left. The next time they saw him they asked him how his head was. He obviously didn't remember the event, or didn't recognise them, and told them "oh, yes. Nice and round".

I hate those guys but I love that story.

Sun, 29 May 2005 12:22:27 GMT

If there's one specific thing that pisses me off the most about this society right now, I'd have to say that it's the stupid focus on academia. Higher learning is worthless, and the only reason it's seen as something valuable is because idiots (the general population are all STUPID IDIOT WHITE MEN WITH BIG MACS AND EVEN BIGGER GUNS) set the status quo. Okay, so I can tell you right now that I will never understand rocket science to a point where I could get a job at NASA. I could put on a lab coat and get up to zany Tom Green-esque antics for a few minutes before I got kicked out and had the security team wonder how I got in there in the first place (secret: teleportation device), but I don't think that counts. But am I stupid? Or, rather, do I possess a lower level of intelligence than someone who does work for NASA (this is just an example, of course)? Dr. David Thorpe would answer with a resounding "yes". But he's not really a doctor and doesn't really work at NASA so that's okay.

But really, in the past I have wondered about that. I've never functioned well in any learning institution. I don't think it's because I'm a moron, but you never know. With things like this, I feel that I have a strong opinion about it but I feel that I can't adequately explain just how I feel about it. I started writing this about half an hour ago and I've deleted it and started again a few times over. It's like I reach this glass ceiling of explanation and I can't get any further. Then I start getting angry and frustrated at myself and my lack of eloquence and that just makes things degenerate further until I'm lying on the floor covered with the blood of my enemies and melted cheese. Again.

Fuck this, I'm going back to fantasising about buying some land and claiming it as my own country while slowly killing myself with cigarettes. See, it's funny that I spoke about how I considered myself to be intelligent and THEN I SAID I'M GOING TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE. ONLY IDIOT STUPIDS SMOKE CIGARETTES YOU AIR POISONING BABY KILLING SUPPORTER OF A CORRUPT MARKET YOU

Postscript (oh I am pretentious): That whole "STUPID IDIOT WHITE MEN" thing was supposed to be sarcastic. I guess I was thinking about that episode of John Safran when he does that thing with Rabbi Mermelstein and he's like "I WENT TO THE STUPID USA WHERE EVERYONE IS EVIL AND STUPID" etc and oh man it was funny FREE MUMIA

Sat, 28 May 2005 17:12:16 GMT

I had the shittiest fucking night. It was so bad that "shittiest ever night" doesn't come close enough to describing how it was the shittiest ever night. Ever.

I was at the pizza shop and it was me and this other guy, he was doing the deliveries and I was doing basically everything else when he was gone. So I had to serve people and answer the phone and make the shitty pizzas by myself because the moron bitch of a boss that I have insists on never actually working there, never actually putting enough staff on, and just shoving responsibility onto the nearest person at the time. So she's like "MATTHEW I AM GOING TO GET DRUNKIES INSTEAD OF WORKING. PLEASE DO RING MY MOBILE TELEPHONE IF THERE IS ANY PROBLEMS THANK YOU." So I had idiot after idiot after moron ordering "super supreme" pizzas (THERE IS NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS A SUPER SUPREME. PLEASE DON'T RING A PIZZA SHOP, ASK WHAT PIZZAS THEY ARE SELLING (WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR ANYWAY SINCE EVERY OTHER MORON IS DOING THE SAME THING) AND THEN SAY "I'LL HAVE A SUPER SUPREME". FIRST OF ALL, I JUST READ THE PIZZAS OUT AND I SAID SUPREME NOT SUPER SUPREME. SECONDLY, WHY DID YOU EVEN FUCKING ASK WHAT PIZZAS WE HAD IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO ORDER A SUPREME? WHAT FUCKING PIZZA SHOP DOESN'T FUCKING SELL SUPREME PIZZAS YOU FUCKING IDIOT MORON FUCKING FUCKING FUCK FUCK CUNT OH SHIT I'M GOING TO EXPLODE WITH RAGE

Anyway, I was in the shop on my own for the most part and it was really busy, so I found it hard to keep up with all the orders for super supreme pizzas (morons) so I rang the boss on the mobile phone to see if she could come in for like half an hour and help with these orders but THERE IS NO ANSWER which didn't suprise me. So I tried the other mobile (she said that she would have both mobiles with her so "RING ME WHEN YOU GET BUSY OKAY" I don't even know why people need more than one fucking mobile phone except that it's because they're FUCKING STUPID) and oh gee there was no answer on the other mobile either. So I yelled "FOR FUCKS SAKE" really loud and scared the customers which cheered me up a tiny bit but not much. About 15 minutes or so later (in which the situation hadn't changed, I was still this fucking close to ninja starring one of the iron pizza trays into some super supreme idiots neck) she rings back and says "OH YOU DID TRY AND RING I AM TOO DRUNK TO COME INTO THE PIZZA SHOP PLEASE DO YOUR BEST" so I hung up and was in the middle of fasioning a noose out of dried strands of cheese to hang myself with when someone else comes in the shop and I realise that maybe I should keep making these pizzas like I'm paid to do.

She rings back later and the other guy was like "yeah it was really busy and shit and omg Matthew is making me really uncomfortable with all the comments about murder that he is making you should have come into the shop" and she's all apoligetic and shit BUT IT'S TOO LATE BITCH I ALREADY FUCKING BURNED THE PLACE DOWN. She gave me an extra $20 which was cool I guess but it shouldn't have fucking happened in the first place.

So we eventually get the place cleaned up and we're out of there at 11:00, and I go to sign off and I notice that the boss has been putting down that I've been starting half an hour later than I had been (6:30), and finishing half an hour earlier. There is no possible way she could have done that accidently since it was every day, and I always start at 6. She's fucking there when I start at six (but she invariably leaves an hour or so later). I know that there's almost always a reason for people doing stuff and like our lives are one big cycle of context and shit but I can only think of one reason for a boss to put down that people are working less hours than they actually are. Especially when that same boss is stingy (with everything) to the point of idiocy. Oh hey don't bother cooking off some more ribs for that person just because you dropped them on the floor! I'll just scoop this back in here and they won't know any difference! I'm fucking sick of this shit. And I didn't even tell about the time that I was accused of stealing from them because some money was missing (hey, maybe money wouldn't be "missing" if you actually... well, I don't know... WORKED AT THE PLACE THAT YOU OWN AND KEEP AN EYE ON WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON. MAYBE MONEY IS MISSING BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING UNORGANISED AND THE REGISTER IS AN OLD PIECE OF SHIT THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY PRICES PROGRAMMED INTO IT SO YOU NEED TO DO EVERYTHING MANUALLY AND WHEN IT'S REALLY BUSY MISTAKES ARE REALLY EASY TO MAKE. Because I'm the employee that's been there the longest (everyone else quits after a couple of months, seriously, I wonder why) I guess it's easy to lay the blame on me whenever the smallest thing goes wrong because you don't have the first fucking idea on how to run a business. One time I was late getting back from a delivery and the bosses husband was there waiting for me and as soon as he saw me he started yelling about how I was getting stoned on the job and stupid shit like that. No, I fucking wasn't getting stoned on the job. I stormed off in this huge rage that was so intense it could actually be seen by the human eye and then he was all apoligising and he explained to me that he'd "had a couple of beers" and that he probably "jumped the gun a little bit". You're a moron, by the way. Don't critise someone about their vices when you've had enough beer to make you snap at the littlest thing AT 8 FUCKING THIRTY AT NIGHT. I don't need to mention that he fucking DROVE their, either. Drunk. Fucking CUNT. I wish you crashed and died, because when you drive drunk that's what you deserve.

Also, remind me not to talk about anything in my personal life if it's just going to be used against me like that. If I drank alcohol instead of smoking weed, would you have accused me of getting drunk on the job? I doubt it, somehow. People who are all anti-drugs and then they turn around and drink alcohol to the point of it having an effect on them (ie more than one drink on a given day) are so fucking stupid it makes me fucking furious to even think about their stupid hypocrisy. I was trying to go to sleep before but I was just lying there thinking about this and getting angrier and angrier that I had to type all this shit out but I don't really feel any better and I don't think I'm going to be able to get to sleep tonight. I won't calm down until I can ring the boss and ask her what's going on with those time sheets. I mean I'm fucking pissed off that she didn't come into work, but really I didn't expect anything else. And that's already been done, it's been resolved, and nothing more can come of it by dwelling on the fact, I know that. If that was the only thing I probably wouldn't be (this) angry right now. But when you combine that with the fucking time sheet bullshit, it's like getting kicked in the balls after someone knocks you out with a lump of wood. The whole reason any of this shit happens is because she's a cheap bitch who refuses to put on enough staff, but she also thinks she's some sort of socialite who needs to get out with "the people". Then on top of that I get accused of stealing and stupid shit, and on top of THAT she's trying to scum me out of what little money I earn from these stupid cunts. Fuck this town, fuck this pizza shop and (oh man I love this word) DOUBLECLUSTERFUCK THAT SORRY ARSED BITCH WHO'S A... STUPID... uh BITCH. THAT FUCKING BITCH

Fri, 27 May 2005 12:51:22 GMT

hi i'm a teenaged national socialist lol i do listen to any national socialst metal (like skrewdriver and slipknot) and i wear swastika shirts even though i have no idea what athey really mean also my grandparents were half jew but i don't know abotu things like that EVEN THOUGH I TALK ENDLESSLY ABOUT HERITAGE and even though i would be the first shuffled into the gas chamber when hitlers glee club was in full swing I HAVE NO SELF CONFIDENCE AND I FEEL PARTICULARLY WEAK AND INSECURE this is how i deal with it okok thanks p.s. fuck jews and fuck blacks AND ESPECIALLY DOUBLECLUSTERFUCK BLACK JEWS

Ha ha okay I had to get that out of my system. Hi friends! Did I mention how I hate people who call themselves nazis? OH YOU MEAN I DIDN'T? Well I do. Fuck those weak cunts. I believe in white pride, but white supremacy is bullshit. So I said white pride is good, but that's because I believe everyone should be proud of their race and heritage. Pride and equality can co-exist, they are not mutually exclusive things, that's what most people don't get. They're like "oh I am white my ancestors enslaved your ancestors please allow me to make up for that fact (that I had absolutely nothing to do with) by treating you with a disproportionate amount of favourtism... JUST BECAUSE YOUR SKIN IS DIFFERENT THAN MINE I WILL TREAT YOU BETTER." Hey guess what fags. That's not fucking equality you stupid CUNTS fuck this I'm totally harshing on my own mellow

Sun, 22 May 2005 05:18:44 GMT

So here is a picture of me with longer hair. I think everyone would agree that I look better with it off. And by "everyone", I mean "me", and when you look at it in that way then there can be no argument, I am correct.

Sun, 22 May 2005 03:42:46 GMT

Ok lets get started here i am 13 i am a ANARCHIST and i love just pissing the hell out of people okok

Tue, 17 May 2005 07:11:13 GMT

I don't feel too bad right now but there's so many fucking things that piss me off.

1. Livejournal. Why do I give a shit about livejournal? I mean, I'm sure you're all cool people but I don't fucking know any of you. And I probably never will. It's like a relationship you'd have with someone if you were blind and deaf and all you could do was read a persons thoughts. It's fucking useless and doesn't serve anyone. And another thing, why do I care so much about getting comments? I shouldn't. But I do and it pisses me off that I do. It also pisses me off when people are like "Y RN'T PPL COMMENTING IN MY JOURNAL" but like they get comments all the time. And they don't comment on my journal. Ever. But see, that's stupid. I shouldn't give a shit but I do because I have no real social life outside of the internet. Which brings me to the next thing:

2. This stupid fucking town. It's ultra shit. There are no redeeming qualities. There's a couple of people here who are into good music and I hang around with them occasionally, but this town is 70% owned by Comalco and on Comalco land it's like "NO ALCOHOL AND NO DRUGS" (they really only test people who are going to work for them, though, it's not like there's big Comalco Public Re-Education Trucks that drive around testing people and if you come up positive for anything they throw you in the back and you're never seen again) but see, the only drug I'm interested in stays in your body for so much longer than any other drug. So I get tested, I show up positive, even though I haven't smoked any weed for like two weeks. It's bullshit. They should test to see if you're stoned on the job, not fucking a week, two weeks, fucking a month ago. It's no ones business what I do in my own time, especially not any prospective employees. Which brings me to the next thing:

3. The fact that I'm stuck in this stupid fucking town delivering stupid fucking pizzas for a stupid fucking pizza shop to stupid fucking morons who are usually stupid fucking drunk. It's the only job I can get. All other jobs have that drug testing thing. What's that you say? Stop... smoking? Stop... smoking weed? It's like you're saying these words to me but they're not making sense! They just don't go together! I don't understand!

4. I'm stuck here because I have a shitty job with low hours (the pay is above average but the low hours stop that from making much of a difference) and the roads are flooded over for half the year so the only way out is to fly, and I'd have to ship my car down to Cairns on a barge which would cost at least $700, and that's not including the airfare for myself. When the roads aren't flooded over it's still an old dirt track that goes for ages that you pretty much need a four wheel drive to cross. And it's about an 18 hour drive or so to the nearest city. I'm sure there'd be stops on the way and all but I'd just want to get there. It's not the distance that needs to be travelled that bothers me, it's more like "well people tell me you can drive ordinary cars up, but am I going to just completely fuck up my suspension and shit or not?" Apparently I won't, and for a while I didn't want to risk it but now I just completely do not care. I think I'm just going to drive out in a couple of weeks or something.

Okay, so that's that. Here are some things I am looking forward to:

1. Fixing my car up. I'm going to pay some fucking PROFESSIONALS (I couldn't do this shit myself and I'm sick of dealing with idiots that say "I'LL DO IT FOR YOU FOR A CARTON OF BEER" and then they do a shitty job but you can't say anything because it's like they were doing you a favour) to fix up all the panel damage on my car and respray it black. It's going to look fucking killer when it's all done. There's also some other shit I'm going to do but I don't know.

2. Getting the fuck out of this town and going back to Hervey Bay. I'll be able to get decent weed again. I'll be able to get a fucking JOB. I'll be able to get a place to live on my own, and most of all if I want to get something to eat, I'll be able to any time. Everywhere won't shut at like 6 in the afternoon like it does in this STUPID FUCKING HICK TOWN

Oh that's something else that pisses me off: the fact that everyone here is like expecting everyone to be interested in like hunting and shooting and fishing and camping and jerking off with fags outdoors and if you don't OH MAN BRAIN OVERLOAD HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT ENJOY THIS STUPID SHIT
Don't get me wrong, I want to fucking go pig hunting. But I don't want to do it every weekend forever. Fishing is boring. Camping is alright, but I don't want to fucking go camping with any of you ignorant morons. And as soon as I try and talk about something I'm interested in, it's like "oh yeah, I don't know about that CHECK OUT THIS FISHING ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! FIIIIISSSHHHHIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGG ROOOOOOOOD

Tue, 10 May 2005 23:34:46 GMT

If you're into rougelikes, you should check IVaN out. One of the things that turned me off games like ADOM and Nethack (though I definately like them) is that I found it pretty fucking hard. I know you're supposed to die about a million times more than you don't, but even so. In this game, I get the feeling that there are less random events that you have no control over. There seems to be more of an abundance of food, and if you do something that changed some details in the background, this game seems to tell you. Like if you do something that makes you more "evil", it says so, instead of just leaving you in the dark about it. I seem to be able to stay alive longer in this game, too.

Don't get me wrong, though, you can die in some pretty spectacular ways in this game. In the game I just played I died because I was fighting a zombie and a few minutes after I killed it (it said to me somewhere during the fight "you feel yourself falling apart") my right leg fell off. Then a little while after that, my right arm did the same thing. I tried to pray to some evil diety of disease and poison (or something) and he reattached my leg, but not the arm. I thought I'd try again (I had an idea what might happen but I was already missing a fucking arm, so I thought "why not?") and, you guessed it, it said something along the lines of "[EVIL DEITY] ANGRY [EVIL DEITY] SMASH" or in this case, make your body fall apart piece by piece. He also poisoned me and as I was trying to hop away from monsters I was also throwing up everywhere, leaving fancy green spots all over the walls and floor. Before I died properly I was a torso and a head rolling around.

The other cool thing is that it's not ASCII, it has graphics. Fairly simple ones, sure, but there's a fair bit of detail. Your avatar changes appearance depending on what you've got equipped, and even what hand it's equipped in. It shows the helmet you're wearing, the armour, fucking everything. Like I said before, they're fairly simple graphics, but I was pretty suprised with the level of detail. If you wound a monster enough, and it runs away, you can follow the blood trail to find them. Weapons (if they're large enough to see it on, I guess) show blood if you've used them to kill something. Old food has little black pixels buzzing around it. It's a really good game, so check it out. It's for Windows so most people should have no trouble running it. TWO THUMBS UP, WAY UP!!!!!!2

Tue, 10 May 2005 13:05:00 GMT

Sat, 07 May 2005 06:04:45 GMT

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING LOVE? I LOVE SPENDING A WHOLE DAY DOWNLOADING HOUSE OF THE DEAD 2 AND THEN IT DOESN'T WORK FOR NO APPARENT REASON SO YOU TRY TO GET SOME ADVICE AND A BERET WEARING, WINE SIPPING FAGGOT SAYS "*sniff* Try the different compatibility modes THIS WILL WORK PROBLEM SOLVED" BECAUSE SHIT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT'S THE FUCKING FIRST THING I TRIED YOU ARSE SNIFFING CUNT FAGGOT ARSE SHIT CUNTING WHORE FUCK COCK SHIT

Thu, 05 May 2005 01:19:14 GMT

Okay so I went around and took some pictures. Not many because I got bored pretty quick. Actually I had some more but I thought I saved them when I didn't, so they're gone now. But that's okay, they weren't so interesting anyway.

This is the best graffiti I have seen in my life. I think it's some kind of code. I took this out at Napranum.

This is on the way to Napranum. One time I drove in there with a carton of beer and a bottle of bourbon, and the police pulled me over on the way in, which rarely happens. I was all but shitting my pants, but they saw I was in the pizza car and said "okay mate, you're right" and oh man I was so fucking relieved let me tell you

I like to live dangerously and on holidays slightly less dangerously

I think it's a law that says that if you're on the internet, you have to post a picture of yourself eventually. And it's also a law that says you have to pose either in a sexy or tough manner, depending on your sex or what music you listen to. So here I am, posing like a common cam whore. I feel ashamed, but not so ashamed as to not post the picture. Don't make me regret it by making unfunny derogatory comments. Funny derogatory comments are acceptable.

Wed, 04 May 2005 18:57:47 GMT

Look, shut up. I never post quizzes, but I'm about to now. Final Fantasy V is the only Final Fantasy that I really like (rather than just think "eh, it's okay" (FF6, FF7, FF9) or "I can't fucking stand this game" (all the rest)), so I have to post this.

Berserker
You scored 72% physical, 30% magic, 16% versatile, and 50% good!

Grr! Smash! Kill! You are exceptionally strong, and you know how to use it to full effect. You are also prone to anger easily, and are known to fly into a rage and savagely attack your enemies without thinking. While this can be very useful for laying beats on your opponents, sometimes it's better to calm down and control yourself.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 96% on physical

You scored higher than 9% on mystical

You scored higher than 1% on versatile

You scored higher than 30% on good

Link: The Final Fantasy Job Class Test written by Artscrafter on Ok Cupid

Even this fucking quiz says I'm neutral (well, that's what "50% Good" suggests to me). DUDE I'M LIKE A TRUE NEUTRAL WEED SMOKING DRUID the internet did tell me it must be true

Mon, 02 May 2005 16:32:21 GMT

Why do so many people, even people who claim to be non christians, argue for or against the existance of a god within the confines of christian teaching? I mean, they say shit like "I'm not a christian, I'm going to find god in my own way" which is fair enough, but if you're not a christian, why do you assume you're going to find "god"? It's like christianity has spiritually burned everyone out. Sure, you could say that these people are saying "god" instead of "supreme being of ultimate power", but fuck. If you're not christian, don't talk like one.

Christians may say things like "yeah there's this and that religion, but only god allows you entrance to heaven". Hi, christian. Yeah. First thing, of course only god allows you entrance to heaven. Because heaven is the afterlife of your religion. God is the... well, god, of your religion. That's like saying "SURE YOU CAN FOLLOW ALLAH OR BUDDAH BUT ONLY ODIN CAN ALLOW YOU ACCESS TO THE HALLOWED HALLS OF VALHALLA". It's stupid and it doesn't make any sense. But so many westerners are brought up to believe that it's god or nothing, that even when they don't believe in god, they look at this world from this very simplistic view. Why? Fucking wake up, morons. Don't get your baby christened just because you're looking for a "safety net". Do you think that sounds stupid? Well, me too. But many, many people get their kids christened for that exact reason. "I don't believe in god, but what if something goes wrong? I don't want to take that chance". Ugh. Christianity isn't an insurance firm. It's a religion, a very mutated (from it's original roots) and bastardised religion, and that's all.

Update: Please stop saying "religion" when you specifically mean christianity. Most people who say things like "I HATE RELIGION" probably only have the experience of going to church once in their life, and I'm being generous here. I'm not an expert on all religions, but I also don't claim to be against all religions. I'm against christianity, and I've had a shit load of experience with it, theoretical and practical, private and social, so I feel I have some measure of authority to speak on the subject. But if you don't know what you're talking about, make an attempt to learn about it first. And if you can't be bothered to do that, then don't talk about it. Professional tip: if you're saying things like "danzig is against religion and i am too" then you don't know what you're talking about.

Sun, 01 May 2005 08:31:35 GMT

I could be wrong, but I got the impression that some people thought I was referring to them with that pope update. I don't drop hints in my journal, if I have something to say to someone I wouldn't do it like that. I'd say it to their face (or... on their journal I guess) even if it makes me look like a hypocritical moron. I'm pretty sure Joe can back me up on this. I don't drop hints or beat around the bush, so if I'm not saying it on your journal, to you, then it's not about you. Contrary to popular belief, I do have experiances outside livejournaloh who am i kidding my life is so much emptiness and pain

I can't wait to leave Weipa. It's so fucking exciting to imagine that I can live somewhere where everything doesn't shut at around 6PM. I remember, back in Hervey Bay, I used to live in this really old like farm house I guess, and it was surrounded by sugar cane on all sides but one, where the main road went. The house was obviously built at a time when there was nothing there, but since the town grew it had McDonalds and Pizza Hut (I hate pizza hut, actually) and KFC and all that shit just a short walk from the house. 24 hour service stations, the cinema was right near it, a couple of bar/restaurant places, the shopping centre (there's still no multistory mall there, thank fuck (but I'm sure it's only a matter of time))... and there were no other houses around so you could be as loud as you wanted. Man, now that I think about it it was pretty cool, but I always just took it for granted, being able to get stoned and go for a short walk and pick up some food, any time. Now I'm always sitting around thinking "FUCK I'M SO FUCKING HUNGRY FUCK THIS SHITTY TOWN". I've been here for a year now, and I haven't left the place once. I've been in this one tiny area for a whole year. I don't think much of 4 wheel drives but that's the only way to escape this place. You can't drive out in ordinary cars. When I leave I'm going to have to get my car shipped out (which will cost about $700) and then fly to Cairns, then drive south from there. So all up it's going to cost me about $1400 to leave. I'd pay twice that much, but that doesn't matter since I don't have that much yet. Well I do but I need more, I can't just fly out and then have no money for petrol and food and shit while I'm driving back to Hervey Bay. And I need money for weed, too. Because I'll be going to Nimbin as soon as I can (even though it's like 8 hours out of the way, it's fucking Nimbin, man. I'd go there if it was 2 days out of the way).

I've been playing the Quest for Glory series again. I fucking love those games, but I feel that number 3 is a real low point. Especially for the thief. There's almost nothing to do when you're the thief. Oh, you sneak into the Laibons hut to steal a fucking magic drum. Fuck QFG3. Number 1 and 4 are my favourites, then 2 and 5, then there's a huge gap before number 3. I like playing them in order like one huge game. It's cool because you can export your character at the end of each one, then import him at the start of the next. This is the limit of my conversational skills. I tried picking up a chick at a bar by talking to her in great detail about how to talk the saurus dealer down to 10 Dinars in QFG2 (hint: say "what", "what", "what", and then "no") but it didn't really work. Then I showed her my huge cock and we had sex right then and her girlfriends came over and we had this huge orgy and then I slit their throats one by one

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 01:45:33 GMT

One of the secrets was "god hates fundamentalists". I asked god if it was true, and he said "sure, at least, it would be... if I existed! Ha ha! Score!" then the voice in my head ceased because, I guess, the realisation that he didn't exist made it so he... didn't... exist. I plan to make a shirt one day that says "God Hates Fundamentalists" on the front, and "Suckface told me, it's true" on the back.

god hates the sin AND the sinner!

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 01:26:05 GMT

GIRL, YOU'LL BE A WOMAN SOON

That's what my mother used to "sing" to me as a lullaby when I was a baby. She only knew the one line, I guess, because she kept saying it over and over, getting louder and louder until she was almost screaming it. About half way to the screaming level it would lose all tone and rythm and sound more like a bizarre monotone chant than a line from a song. I didn't get much sleep as a kid, you know.

The saddest thing I ever saw was a young girl getting run over by a truck. I was playing a game of what I like to call "real life dungeons and dragons" where each morning I randomly select a class and alignment from an AD&D rule book and try to act out that character for the rest of the day. That day I was a true neutral cleric so I decided not to interfere with the natural order of things. Later, in prison, I tried to tell everyone about the game but it didn't go over too well. It's a good thing I learned to block out memories from a young age (see above story) because all that arse raping would have made me feel pretty bad about myself if I wasn't playing a chaotic evil character. Eventually I was put in solitary (they said something about being a sexual predator, I don't know. I was just playing a warrior based partially on the fighting men of ancient Greece but mostly on this site) and I started to cheat at the game by making myself chaotic evil every day because it started to fit in with my personality better. I think if I was alone for all that time I would have gone partially insane, but eventually I learned how to summon a familiar for myself so from then on I played a generic wizard because I couldn't bear to be without him. I was also lucky my familiar was an albino elephant because one day I had the bright idea of using suckface (that's the elephant. I called him suckface because he has a long, funny nose that he uses to drink with. He would put his nose against my ear at night and whisper secrets to me in my sleep) to smash down the walls. The next thing I knew, suckface was gone and I was strapped to the bed again. The walls were undamaged and my hands were covered in red stained bandages. I will always remember you, suckface.